It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
