i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
how can u be prego again
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
