They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
