That's intense
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
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