you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
