oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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