Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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