hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
