6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
