I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
