Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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