Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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