I'm so fucking centered right now
he shaved USA in his pubs
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
