I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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