Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
