Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
