Bisexual people are plain selfish.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
