Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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