Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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