i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
