question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
