There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
