Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
