My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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