I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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