No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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