is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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