i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
