You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
