billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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