I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
