U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
