Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Just pee around me
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
