On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
