Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
So much Jack, so little girl.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
