How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
