That's intense
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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