I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm sobbing to NWA
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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