i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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