Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
