things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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