No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
