I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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