I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
