I want to walk on stilts...naked
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
