My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
