I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
