a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
