i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
