ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Sext me about skeletons
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
