and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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