I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I think a kid would responsible me up
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
