Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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